Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
