It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
