It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
