Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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