Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
