You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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