The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
