Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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