The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
