The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
