I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
