I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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