You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
