i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
