if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
