When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dick very happy bro
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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