She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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