on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
