I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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