Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
