I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
sex in a hospital.. check
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
