Well apparently he's into motor boating.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
