and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
