I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
