Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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