that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
