wrigley field is MILF paradise
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
