After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
