just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
