Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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