I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
