3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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