after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
