Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
