His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
