And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
