Pants 0. Shit 1.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
