I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
