Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
