She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
