Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
