Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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