And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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