i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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