so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
