I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i drank out of a bidet.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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