Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
