I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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