An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
