I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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