My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
