ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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