Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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