Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
babies were throwing up all over the place
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
