im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
