I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just google imaged poop.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
