Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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